Friday, August 31, 2007

"I have the ____________"

I am so blessed to have such a fabulous group of women in my tribe. I feel your love. I'm much better now. It helped to be able to work thru it partly by just crying and verbalizing my sadness. Plus the fact that I feel I am moving in the right direction toward clarifying AJ's "clinical profile" and what we can do to help him be the best that he can be. Last night hubby listened and cared and shared my sadness. I took care of myself today and called one of you soul sisters for lunch out, another one of you called and let me dump my sadness on you, and Angel Sandrini happened upon us today and we also shared a dinner out. Tonight at park night for the tribe I just flat out told a lot of people that this was one of the hardest weeks and lowest points I've had in awhile. I never really do that. I usually just maintain my happy face and don't share. But some of these Mama's have been good models for me recently by reaching out during their dark times. It felt good to put it out there. All of us Mama's get "it". When I talk about how sometimes everything that is hard or sad about our kid(s) gets or feels really bad and it is all upon you at it's worst, all at once. It's like you accidentally quadrupled the regular dose of life-shit. The regular dose is doable, not always good, but do doable. But this quadrupled dose leaves one on the verge of needing to call poison control. This ugly "it" needs a name. I think if it had a name and we could throw it out quickly, we'd be more likely to tel others about "it" and thus, take better care of ourselves. . Friends we need to name it so we can just call, type or say, "I have the _____" or "I am just getting over a really bad _____",or "I feel a _______ coming on." Names?????


  1. "The *Special* Blues"? Must keep our attitudes arch even in deepest sorrow.

    I am so glad to see that you're feeling better today.

  2. Yeah, or even just I'm feeling special. Kind of a perverted twist on what it otherwise means to feel special.

  3. I am so glad that I can call you my friend! Inspired by this, working on a name. Will you please call me ANYTIME. I think the name needs to be something that helps you feel a release when you say it. more to come. and so glad you were open in the park. Loved that. Don't feel so alone.