Saturday, October 14, 2006

A mixed day

I spent a lot of the day in bed. Sleeping and hiding from reality. A. Is ranting and raving and flying off the handle. You have to experience it to truly appreciate it. I must have asked him a billion times to get dressed. The thing that is so frustrating is that he is capable of doing this. He gets so distracted and loses track of what he is doing. But there is also a good portion of that which is motivation and interest. Ki is often whining. I lost it today. I was so angry and so over the edge. I didn't go to Ki's soccer game-for which I am assistant coach and the other coach is pregnant. I had Mom take her. Not something I would typically do.
Then there is Mom who is so very often repeating herself. Then A. blows up at her, he knows he has already answered the same question 3 times in 10 minutes-and here it is again!

I am the mediator. When Pops comes home cranky. He is cranky to me, then cranky to my Mom and I have to mediate that.
I mediate Mom and the kids. She unknowingly sets them off.
I break up many negative interactions (and fights) daily. At the end of the day there is no escape, no where to go.
Mom kept saying to me today, "Judy, do you feel alright?"
I want to yell, "Other than feeling fucking nuts, I feel fine".

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