Check it out

http://jphoto.smugmug.com/photos/841113891_iDLVb-M.jpg


One of my favorite photos taken by Julie Nelson. She is an OT, Mom and fabulous photographer.

check out her work at:

Happy Mother's Day

I have had wonderful morning the Mother's Day!
Pops and Al went shopping early this am while Ki stayed and cuddled on and off with me while I snoozed.
I was later awakened by my kiddos with a plate filled with a homemade breakfast mcmuffin (english muffin, egg, ham and cheese), cinnamon roll and strawberry. I got my coffee and read my paper in bed. My brown dogs joined me on and off and cleaned any  food items that strayed from the plate.
Aj got 2 bouquets of flowers at eh store-one for me and one for Granny. He awoke her by bounding into her bed with a top volume, off-key song about Mother's Day. The fact that she is still with us after awakening clarifies the fortitude of her physical make up.
Ki presented me with a mug that she colored herself that contains sprouting cosmo seeds. Her decorated card reads:
terrific, hugger, pretty, smart, amazing, love.
She is so open about her feelings, "I love you so, so, so very much Mama." She is my sweet pea.

Aj gave me a letter he wrote at school. It reads:

Alex K                             5/17/10
Here are some reasons why I love my Mom
1. She cheers on me when I get a hit, a basket, or a goal. Shes the loudest cheerer in the fans. She is very loud.
2. She helps me on my homework. Even though if it was 9:30 at night, my mom can still help me with my homework. She wants to get my homework done.
3. She gives me lots of hugs and kisses. When I've done something, a really hard thing, she gets so happy she cries. It is so cute.


I love you every minute of my life.


Love,
Alex Koeppen
xoxoxoox

Spring break and beyond

A week before Spring break I found out that my Dad was on oxygen full time, living alone and could no longer drive (you know-like to the store for groceries) and was moving to Seattle and selling the house I grew up in. His wife's family is so wonderful and are helping Dad and his wife every step of the way. BUt I wanted and needed to help, too. Ki and I flew down the Fri before Easter, rented a car and drove to Dad's house in Rancho Bernardo. Rental car was a KIA that was shaped like an egg and light blue. I yelled to Ki "Pedal harder!" as we entered the freeway. This gutless wonder was however timely from a seasonal sense as it resembled an Easter egg.  We ended up staying in a hotel-which was fun. I helped Dad and Ki got to spend some time with him. I also got to meet Dad's wife's grand daughter who is just the coolest gal. Kids loved her too.
AJ and Pops drove down to SAn Diego and met us. After being with my Dad-we headed off for visits to Sea World (still my favorite) and Lego Land.

Last Spring Break

Last Sptring break we had a stay-ca-tion in San Francisco. We stayed 3 nights.
We took kids to the Zeum. They recorded their first music video.
Props, music and words provided by Zeum. My kids had never heard this song before-so AJ is reading lyrics. This is funniest at the end. Enjoy

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5UU9iyqSjeI

Books

A friend told me about a good book called
Little Bee by Chris Cleave.
I just bought we will see.

Ki is reading:
Bone #6:  Old Man's Cave   (a comic book of sorts)
How to Train Your Dragon  which was recently made into a movie (movie looks good)

Twas the Night Before Easter

Ki and I are here in a hotel in Rancho Bernardo (San Diego).
Ki asked Pops to leave a note for the Easter Bunny explaining that she was not in Redwood City-but rather in Rancho Bernardo.
We are both wondering if and how the Easter Bunny will leave a basket and/or eggs in a small hotel room...But I have faith he is a creative fellow.

Easter Eggs

I just paid for plastic Easter eggs that are already filled with candy. The best indulgent buy ever.
I guess it is also good for my figure-as I can't eat and stuff eggs or be "stuck with leftovers".

Whispering Mommy behind the stage

Sunday rehearsal 9 to 12 am

Both kids  stayed home sick. I have little voice. A problem for a stage manager and speech therapist.

I've learned how to put tape on the stage so we know where to put the bases of the sets. Our young tribe of Merry Men are still trying to figure out which way to exit the stage. Wholly, they are a very inattentive lot. The back stage crew of 7th and 8th graders are all armed with high-end phones and spend time playing on them. I let them today as the pace was painfully slow at times-I told them tomorrow no more phones. They might get distracted- and I don't want to look bad next to an 8th grader.

I came home pooped and seemingly still sick a bit myself. Now at 6 pm Aj has a temp of 101 (day 4) and Ki a temp of 102 and she just vomited. Pops and Granny not feeling so great either.
This is going to be a tough week. Play rehearsal/shows are M to Sat 530 pm to 930 pm and Sat afternoon.

Mommy behind the stage

Ah, it is time for the school play again. Last year it was the play Aladdin and my adventures were in the green room. Aj played the "neighbor" and Ki was a merchant selling nuts. One of her lines being "Someone stole my nuts!". Do note the irony in that line.
This year the play is a comedy version of Robin Hood. Aj is Little John and Ki is one of the merry men. Aj is one of the main 8 characters and has quite a few lines! I am so proud because he was chosen over other "typical" boys. Ki is of course thrilled to be playing a guy.
Aj has one scene in which he is supposed to pick his nose.  It is helpful to know that in the past the picking of nose has been so chronic it was discussed in IEP's (note plural s). This boy has been rehearsing for this part for YEARS. So imagine my startle when Aj told me he was nervous about everyone seeing him pick his nose on stage-even if he was faking it.

 This year I am behind the stage as one of the stage managers. My adventures will be noted from that venue.  Well, so I was also put on the costume committee. Those who know me well just burst into hysterical laughter upon reading that assignment. That would be because my idea of dealing with a shirt missing a button or pants that need hemming is to not wear either of them. Clearly, I was not a lot of help there.
Today (Saturday) was the casts first day at the theater (10 to 5). I am getting over a flu bug and have a very marginal voice. Aj has had headache, sore throat and fever for the last 3 days-so he stayed home.
The sets are tremendous, just amazing. The music will be, too.
The cast is HUGE. Over 40 I think. Lots to keep track of.
Robin Hood and Maid Marian were told they will not have to kiss in the show. A relief to all children as the thought of touching someone of the opposite sex is horrifying. But I think when Maid Marian is an adult she will regret not being able to say she kissed Robin Hood.
Today we practiced with sets and music/light cues. I came home with a throat ache and head ache and crashed. Back on Sunday am 9 to 12.
Sandy is coming to see the play-kids are thrilled. Grandpa, Uncle Jim and Aunt Mary will come Sat for the matinee. Pops, Granny and I will watch final performance on Sat night.

Aj Online

I had Aj stay home from school today as he was complaining of the same symptoms I have had. Headache and sore throat.

I had about 2 hours of clients so I left him here with Granny. He wanted my Apple (computer) and I said fine and left it with him.

Later at home again I sat down to check my email. 

A million windows were open-the Disneyy Channel, Wikipedia and Askk.com.

One of the ASK search boxes read: can i see a belly button from women

Followed by: can i see a belly button from pregnant women

Next read: can I listen to beat it

Followed by: can I listen to beat it with music

My notes and observations:

My boy can independently search on the internet!

He can even refine his search!

He is not a boob guy, leg guy or breast guy. Aj has always been a belly button guy. 

He still darts up to mannequins and lifts their shirts to examine the authenticity of their belly

buttons.  

Aj's teacher had her last day of work last week and is due to have her first baby next week.  

This has been exciting and intriguing for Alex. Especially since he loves babies. Yesterday 
Aj, Granny and I went to a second appointment with Granny's full-term pregnant MD. On the 
first visit he whispered to me, "Does the doctor have a baby in her tummy?". This visit I saw 
him starring at her belly in a mesmerized fashion. She was sporting a VERY outy-pregnant-
lady belly button. When she stepped out I asked Aj if he saw her belly button.

"Yah!". I explained that belly buttons get very stretched by pregnant bellies and either stick out or sometimes kinda disappear like mine did when I was pregnant.

With disbelief and concern he blurted, "Yours is gone!". I verbally assured him it was no 
longer gone and visually assured him by flashing my belly. The MD returned to give her 
parting recommendations. Aj telescoped his eyes on her belly button. Ever so slowly, 
he kneeled-his eyes now level with protruding jewel.

It happened quickly, the MD never noticed. But clearly - Aj had noticed the jewel and it is still on his mind.

Letter to a fellow mommy

I wrote this letter to a woman who is a friend-but not a close friend. Last fall her son completely unexpectedly died in the middle of the night. It was tragic. It hit home even more so in that our sons were the same age and carried the same diagnosis. I went to the funeral along with hundreds of others. I sobbed. But I held off on contacting her until now. Today it seemed right. I remember when my 20-something year old friend lost her Mom. I learned from her that the pain goes on long after the funeral and all of the follow-up calls and meals have occurred. As I was feeling over-whelmed by all the to-dos, forgot-to-dos, wish-I-hads this was very cathartic.  People, family, friends, love. That is what matters. I refer to her son as "Elvis" in copy of the letter. Thanks Elvis-you helped me today.




Hi-

You pop onto my mind fairly frequently and I thought I'd write. I can only imagine that decades and yet only seconds have gone by since you lost your guy.

And I know all the very many people who love your family were probably most present initially. So here I am now.

Every so often I see a boy that looks like Elvis and it catches my breath. Then I think how that must happen to you constantly.

He was a model for me when I have talked to Aj that he has autism/PDD (what the fuckk ever). Initially I couldn't use the word "autism" because to him that was how I had talked about my friend's kids who had difficulties and that was why-for example our little buddies who are non-verbal or with limited language.

He was then put off that something that described them could describe him. So I told him, "Well-you know who else has autism? Elvis does". 

So thanks to Elvis for being such a lovely model. Aj then referred to him as, "My friend Elvis who has a-little-bit-of-autism." 

We lost our dear 13 year old lab last June. Aj asked me once if I thought Elvis was playing with Sierra in heaven. I told I thought yes he was.That I think Elvis really liked dogs and now Sierra has someone to play fetch with.

So I cried when I wrote this. And I delayed writing it because I thought it would make you cry, too. But I decided you probably already cry. 

And I wanted you to know that there is still a lot of love out there for you and Elvis and your family.

be well

Nice research findings

I found a research study summary in my professional journal that brought a smile to my face (see link below). Basically a longitudinal study of kids from age 5 to 25. Participants included kids with language delays/disorders, kids with speech (articulation disorders) and typical kids. The majority of the kids with language difficulties persisted with lower language, cognitive and occupational skills then typical peers at age 25. I am not surprised by that. What made me happy is the news that the individuals rated their quality of life to be just as good as the typical group. There was of course a strong correlation with family support.

Long ago I decided that my goal for Aj was for him to be happy. Not Harvard, Stanford or maybe even any college graduate-but happiness. My hope is that he will grow up to be a happy individual who can contribute to society. I am confident this will be the case.


http://ajslp.asha.org/cgi/content/abstract/19/1/51?etoc

The "Which reminds me" Cycle

Granny needs her hair done
She needs that sore on her leg looked at
She needs to go to the bank
I need to go to attorney for medical power of attorney and all that stuff

Which reminds of aj
the incomplete iep
the difficult behaviors
the lack of friends
the therapy he should be having
the dentist he should have seen
the unschedule eye exam

Which reminds me of Ki
my sweet girl who daily wanders alone on the playground
who is uncomfortable in her beautiful skin
who is sensitive and searching

Which reminds me of my business
the ways i am not contributing to its success

Which reminds me of my husband
my sweet partner
who is truly a partner
he contributes to caring for kids, cooking, cleaning, playing ball, driving to appointments...
I went out with him once last year
I kept my end of the bargain sometime then too

Which may remind me of me
the friendships that I have left unwatered
the mess i live in
the unscheduled doctor, dentist, eye appointments

This ugly cycle
Every so often it grabs me
pulls my breath and sucks at my soul

Then I stabilize
not totally- because all of that is always there
But it isn't always so big
And I can breathe
And my soul sort of settles
Soon it won't all feel so big
That is how it goes

The Visitor

Today we talked, Granny and I.
I told her he was coming to visit.
He'd be here for dinner.
What time she asked.
Then she asked again.
She said she didn't know he was coming.
I snapped at her. I told her- I told you, I'm sorry you don't remember.

I snap at her often, daily, many times daily.
I feel angry at me, fatigued, guilty.

He comes, we have dinner.
We talk, he shares stories from the past.
Toward evenings end Granny nods and agrees when conversation warrants.
I sense her comments driven by obligation, not understanding.

We plan for lunch tomorrow.
The three of us.
He'll pick you up, we'll meet at my office.

Goodnight we say. So nice to see you.
Close the door, prepare for bed.

Judy, you say.
Judy, who was that young man that was here?

Mom, it was Richard.
Don't you remember?
He is your son.

The Climb

It's big,
like Half Dome.

Standing at the base
I see only granite,
no sky.
Feel still air,
no breeze.

Climb, climb.
Shed the shade,
seek the sun.
I carry no ropes,
see no hand holds.

Show me the path.
The one round the back.
Ascend the cables.

Breathe deep the summit air-
chilling, yet  relieving.

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,
How are you doing? Are you ready to go on your big trip in 3 days? (or less) Anyway here is my list of presents. 1. legos any size you want 2. Comics. Calvin and Hobbes, Peanuts, and Bone (not 1-3.) 3. Movies. Scooby-Doo, Tom and Jerry, and AFV 4. Toys! 5. Action figires! I've been as nice as I could! A good kid,
Ki (Super K)

written by Ki today in neon green gel pen on school lined paper
word(s) in bold are underlined by her as directed by her teacher to do when you are unsure of the spelling and try to sound it out and use "kid spelling"

Christmas

I am pretty much done with shopping for Xmas. That is good for me as today is the 19th. I often still have lots to do. Today we finally decorated the tree and inside of the house. I am so pleased to find I have a holiday decorating ally in Ki. She demanded we all be in the living room at the same time to decorate the tree as this was ''The family tradition". So it looks like in the future I will have a partner in the annual decorating event.

Today I made:
Christmas Bark (white chocolate, dried cranberries and pistachios)
Chocolate peanut bark (ingredients same as the name)
Pine Bark -Now this is a new one. I found the recipe on Internet. Not sure why it is called Pine Bark as no pine trees were harmed in the making of this bark, it does not smell of pine nor does it look like pine. But it taste great.
Tomorrow I'll make up a ton of Chex mix. The regular ol' recipe in all of its salty, buttery goodness. Lot's of food gifts this year.

Aj 11th bday gift

Aj had his 11th bday and he kept asking for a Sharks (local professional hockey team) jersey and tickets to a game. He and I went to a game last week. We had good seats. We took CAL train from Redwood City. Pops met the train in Palo Alto and Ki popped off there so they could go out to dinner and then go home for an evening of Wii playing, just the two of them.
Aj and I ate our way around HP Pavilion (named after Hewlet Packard). Aj ate a cheeseburger, fries, soda, churro and popcorn. We cheered and danced and clapped at all the appropriate times, and then some more. Sharks played the Dallas Stars. The game ended in a 2-2 tie, then want into over-time and then into a shoot out. Very exciting for AJ's first game. Then home on the train. A GOOD birthday gift!

Birthday Present

Pops had my blog printed into a book as my gift. It is big. About 9 X 11 and 1 1/2 inches thick. I started blogging 3 or 4 years ago after I was introduced to it by squid. I don't know if I wanted everything in it so available to read. But it will be nice for my family in the future. I am curious if I will curb my content when considering if I/he will print in the future. But all in all a very thoughtful gift.

November

All of use coughing and hacking, all but Pops. Granny kids and I all took antibiotics-no help. I have had bronchitis now for over 6 weeks. My 46th b-day was the day before Thanksgiving. I planned to have a drop in brunch at my work to celebrate and to have an excuse to get together with friends. Turns out I got what I am sure was H1n1 flu the weekend prior. No birthday brunch for me. I spent the day in bed. To sick and contagious to be cooking for 13 for Thanksgiving, so we cancelled and left a bunch of elderly relatives high and dry. Pops took kids over to visit his Dad and brother and they all went and visited Aunt Mary-now 99 years old and quite sharp I might add. I rolled out of bed late. Later I went to jennyalice's house fed her dog and slept on her couch for a couple of hours. She had kindly left homemade pumpkin pie and stuffing for me. Back home I watched a movie from the couch and pulled together a simple Thanksgiving dinner. An odd holiday time, but okay too.