The "Which reminds me" Cycle

Granny needs her hair done
She needs that sore on her leg looked at
She needs to go to the bank
I need to go to attorney for medical power of attorney and all that stuff

Which reminds of aj
the incomplete iep
the difficult behaviors
the lack of friends
the therapy he should be having
the dentist he should have seen
the unschedule eye exam

Which reminds me of Ki
my sweet girl who daily wanders alone on the playground
who is uncomfortable in her beautiful skin
who is sensitive and searching

Which reminds me of my business
the ways i am not contributing to its success

Which reminds me of my husband
my sweet partner
who is truly a partner
he contributes to caring for kids, cooking, cleaning, playing ball, driving to appointments...
I went out with him once last year
I kept my end of the bargain sometime then too

Which may remind me of me
the friendships that I have left unwatered
the mess i live in
the unscheduled doctor, dentist, eye appointments

This ugly cycle
Every so often it grabs me
pulls my breath and sucks at my soul

Then I stabilize
not totally- because all of that is always there
But it isn't always so big
And I can breathe
And my soul sort of settles
Soon it won't all feel so big
That is how it goes