This evening I think it is probably good I didn't disclose to the realtor why I was late in returning his call. The conversation I did not have, but could have, would've gone like this.
"Oh, Kris, I am sorry it took me so long to get back to you. I am home with my kids who were on their fourth hour of tv while Granny, who has Alzheimer's, was on her second glass of sherry. Aunt Dolly from Boisee called. I last spoke to her 10 years ago. She is married to Granny's brother who is in his late 80's and is much further along in his Alzheimer's. I guess he only eats purreed food now and doesn't recognize anybody or talk. Seems she called to find out how Granny was doing. and bla bla bla. Dolly had a lot to say. Anyway, I guess Uncle James (the youngest of the 4 siblings) was up visiting and he couldn't remember or keep straight any facts about how my Mom is. Seems his Alzheimer's is also progressing quickly. She asked if my Mom was still talking and moving around. I assured her she was, but that her memory was quite impaired. Dolly asked to speak to Mom. So I put her on, only to see Mom become quite confused by a blast of bla bla bla. Evidently Dolly was relaying to her about how cousin Bobby (James son who lives in Boisee) had been charged with child molestation and had violated his parole. When Uncle James came up to take Cousin Bobby back to CA, he was not able to do so because of this recent violation. She wasn't sure if he had just violated parole or committed a new offense. I reminded her that he did have a mental illnes diagnosis, not tht it made any of this okay. bla bla She was the only one Cousin Bobby could call ..... I took the phone back from Granny and I got the whole story. Then it just got loud at home as Granny and my son, who has special needs, started arguing in the background about the tv. Thank goodness for cordless, because I could still run to the living room and motion wildly for Granny to just leave the room occupied by my grouchy son. Of course he had a right to be grouchy as I guess he got into a fight at camp today. Then the 2 labs started barking to try and get Granny to take them out to play fetch. Dolly didn't seem to notice the rukus and just kept talking bla bla bla. I tried a warmly worded parting. But Dolly just continued. Granny put the dogs out front so it would be quiet. Java proceeded to wildly scratch the front door. In an effort to save the paint on the front door, I waved wildly at Granny to let the dogs back in. I tried again to wind up the conversation. After about 20 efforts to end the conversation, Aunt Dolly blessed me for taking care of my mother with Alzheimer's and 2 youngish kids. I was gonna tell her that one has special needs and that I work. But I thought that might be TMI for her. Anyway, when I got off the phone, Granny couldn't remember exactly who I was talking to or how they were related to her. The kids did get in the tub okay-but they didn't make it through with out the obligatory screaming fight. Anyway, so Kris, that is why I am late in returning your call. How are you? Now that you know all about me and my family, do you still want to rent to me?"