Hello? Is anybody there?

Well I am here, so I guess that is all that matters really. I struggled to recall my blog address it has been so long since I have written. One and a half years to be exact. I think I switched too much from worrying about the audience to writing for me.  I could use a good cathartic outlet these days. I had to get out of bed because my brain was churning with thoughts like a 1970s Maytag washer and sleeping was out of the question.
A life update. I am 48, and one month away from 49. My son with PDD-NOS, SPD, ADHD and acute adolescence  is 13 and one month away from 14. My sweet tween girl is feeling awkward at 11, a few months from 12. My steadfast and dedicated husband is my age and holding on. My sweet-Alzheimer's owned Mom rings in at 87. We all be a bit crazy with our own stuff and each others stuff. We love our "babies": Java the Lab, 5, Tess the Doodle, 4, Izzy the golden retreiver therapy dog, 3. Oh, and the 18-year-old, fur-ball-covered, arthritic cat.
Lately I am trying to slap-down the depression demons. They are rearing their ugly heads quite a bit. I am working on that, but need to do more.  A couple moves toward doing better by me that I need to give myself credit for- I have hair appointment on W to eliminate those pesky dark roots and an eye exam tomorrow. On Halloween I will go out with a friend and kiddos then over to a friends house with kids to trick or treat
That will be good for my soul. Soul work. I realize I need to base my day to day decisions on what is good for my soul, my core. A good thought. Glad I wrote. But still awake!

CHECK...check check check 123 checking

Haven't blogged in forever. Writing seems like more of an option when I am away. Which NEVER happens. But, alas, I am away from home. I am even ALONE.
I am in Portland OR for an amazing feeding course. 4 day course. I flew Th am and drove to course, course TH F S S and fly home Sun night.
I have become pretty saavy at using my GPS on my iphone to find things. Urban spoon a great app to locate restaurants. I found a wonderful Berkeley-esque cafe just a few blocks from the hospital. Cafe sports mismatched furniture, Buddhist prayer flags and soulful music. I am in heaven. This part of Portland with well-loved Victorian homes, quirky businesses and bright minds.
Today's lunch: the Planet sandwich-avocado, hummus, tomato, grated carrot, cucumber on seeded whole grain. I'll be having a cappacinno (sp) chaser. No worries, I haven't gone over the edge healthy. This is balance out last nights fish and chips grease fest.
Last nights entertainment was mall shopping and seeing the movie Bridesmaides. SO funny, a must see. Tonight might be Water for Elephants.
I've shelved all my real life obligations and they will greet me with a slap in the face Monday morning.
A nice break I am having.

Puberty Note from the school speech therapist

On another note, I wanted to let you know what AJ asked me today.  I had told him I went to the Giants game last night and we talked a little about it. At the end of the speech session, AJ said, can we pretend we are at the game and I am Steve (therapists husband)? Then, something good happens and you hug me? I said, “What?, where did that come from?” He said, “I don’t know it just popped into my head” I kind of laughed it off and he turned a little red and I sent him to class as  I normally do. I think it is obviously “puberty” has arrived.... 

Letter to the school -both sent on the same day

I have just finished signing and putting in Ajs backpack that we received his progress report.

I did not share it with him. 

My dear boy, my husband and I work hours everyday and on the weekend on homework. 

He shouldn't have mostly D's and F's as final grades. 

I brought this up at the iep and ended up with this horrid progress report and no contact or call from anyone on his team.

I believe he can be successful with modification of some of the work and a lot of communication from the teachers and aide. 

We are devoted to him and making this work, but we need some help from his team at school. 

Please let me know your ideas and I will do the same. 

life is fatiguing me lately...

Letter to the soccer team parents

Dear Parents of the Red Ragers,

Last week my husband attended the team parent meeting. He was confronted in front of the group by a couple of parents about our son, AJ.  My husband was not at the game he was asked about. I was there and was organizing the team snacks when Aj evidently hit or pushed a child on the other team after being taunted. I was never aware nor told that this had occurred. Our message to Aj was, and continues to be, that this type of behavior is never acceptable. 

At the beginning of the season I told the coach (as I do every coach, camp counselor etc.) that Aj has learning and attention deficits and sometimes has difficulty controlling his emotions when in competitive situations. I asked him to let us know if he needed assistance, had questions etc. My husband has since had the same discussion with him. If a parent had asked me about Aj, or sat and chatted with me- I would have likely had a similar conversation. We are not hiding anything, and yet we don’t need to put him on public display for every parent on every team to examine and judge. At the end of every season or school year I always write notes thanking the coaches/teachers who have embraced and supported Aj. It does take a village to raise a child and I am so grateful to those who commit to ALL children in our community. 

Aj is a joy in our lives. That having been said, parenting a child like Aj can be a rocky and emotional road. I imagine he travels a similar road. My message to you as parents sharing this community is that families like ours desire and hope for acceptance, support and friendship. Those of you have offered this to mine and other families-I am so grateful. Those of you who gave a cold shoulder, commented that you are “tired of putting up with” my child and sought to shame us in a group forum are not “fixing” any one in my family. In the future I recommend calling upon your grace, integrity and compassion when addressing other families. 

Old Mother Hubard

Sad news for our family. The family we all play with is moving out of state. Each of us has a playmate in that family-so this is heartbreaking news. Currently the Mom and Dad K. and Baby J. are looking for houses in AL. I am here this week with my 2 and their other
3 kids. The five kids are ages: 11, 11, 9, 8 and 5.  Funny thing is you'd be hard pressed to identify which are mine. They all look like siblings and I look like a woman confused about how birth control works.
The K. kids are delightful children. Really, having 5 kids is not so bad at all! The nutty part is due to shear volume of keeping track of who has bathed etc.  The K. family make it easy. For example:
I ask all 5 to sit and do some reading. AND THEY DO! My kids compliance goes up when they are here. Also,  these kids are grateful beings. They may ask for an extra cookie etc-because they are kids-but they do not expect it. They do not demand it and they do not whine. Now I know their parents will say this is not always the case. It isn't with any kid. They get up in the morning and they get dressed with out being asked, and asked and asked.
I LOVE THESE KIDS. I will miss them dearly. My son will miss his only friend. My daughter will miss a good friend and Pops and I will miss dear grown-up friends.
Hats off to Mom and Dad K.  They have excelled at being good parents and raising thoughtful, curious, grateful and loving children.
I am off work this week and it is supposed to be a week of play. Monday we went mini-golfing, yesterday was the movies- Cats vs Dogs the Revenge of Kitty Galore. More tomorrow.

Check it out

http://jphoto.smugmug.com/photos/841113891_iDLVb-M.jpg


One of my favorite photos taken by Julie Nelson. She is an OT, Mom and fabulous photographer.

check out her work at:

Happy Mother's Day

I have had wonderful morning the Mother's Day!
Pops and Al went shopping early this am while Ki stayed and cuddled on and off with me while I snoozed.
I was later awakened by my kiddos with a plate filled with a homemade breakfast mcmuffin (english muffin, egg, ham and cheese), cinnamon roll and strawberry. I got my coffee and read my paper in bed. My brown dogs joined me on and off and cleaned any  food items that strayed from the plate.
Aj got 2 bouquets of flowers at eh store-one for me and one for Granny. He awoke her by bounding into her bed with a top volume, off-key song about Mother's Day. The fact that she is still with us after awakening clarifies the fortitude of her physical make up.
Ki presented me with a mug that she colored herself that contains sprouting cosmo seeds. Her decorated card reads:
terrific, hugger, pretty, smart, amazing, love.
She is so open about her feelings, "I love you so, so, so very much Mama." She is my sweet pea.

Aj gave me a letter he wrote at school. It reads:

Alex K                             5/17/10
Here are some reasons why I love my Mom
1. She cheers on me when I get a hit, a basket, or a goal. Shes the loudest cheerer in the fans. She is very loud.
2. She helps me on my homework. Even though if it was 9:30 at night, my mom can still help me with my homework. She wants to get my homework done.
3. She gives me lots of hugs and kisses. When I've done something, a really hard thing, she gets so happy she cries. It is so cute.


I love you every minute of my life.


Love,
Alex Koeppen
xoxoxoox

Spring break and beyond

A week before Spring break I found out that my Dad was on oxygen full time, living alone and could no longer drive (you know-like to the store for groceries) and was moving to Seattle and selling the house I grew up in. His wife's family is so wonderful and are helping Dad and his wife every step of the way. BUt I wanted and needed to help, too. Ki and I flew down the Fri before Easter, rented a car and drove to Dad's house in Rancho Bernardo. Rental car was a KIA that was shaped like an egg and light blue. I yelled to Ki "Pedal harder!" as we entered the freeway. This gutless wonder was however timely from a seasonal sense as it resembled an Easter egg.  We ended up staying in a hotel-which was fun. I helped Dad and Ki got to spend some time with him. I also got to meet Dad's wife's grand daughter who is just the coolest gal. Kids loved her too.
AJ and Pops drove down to SAn Diego and met us. After being with my Dad-we headed off for visits to Sea World (still my favorite) and Lego Land.